Kategori arşivi: Hikaye Fıkra Şiir

12 English Jokes

English Jokes  - İngilizce Şakalar

 

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''

 

English Jokes  - 1

 

I tried water polo but my horse drowned.  

 

English Jokes  - 2

 

A blonde was taking money out of an ATM.

The blonde behind her in the line said, "Haa! Haa! Haaaaaa! I've seen your password. It's 4 asterisks (****)."

The first blonde replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! You are so wrong. It's 1258."

English Jokes  - 3

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of 

the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

English Jokes  - 4

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mummy, Mummy, she yelled, "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked.

"Yes, It's because your blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids said up to D, but I said it up to G. See? A,B,C,D,E,F,G!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"

"Yes, It's because your blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mummy Mummy!" she yelled, "We were in gym class today, and when we were showering, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"

She lifted up her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm Blonde, Mummy?"

"No Honey, Its because you're 24."

English Jokes  - 5

A fairy told a married couple: "For being such an exemplary married couple for 35 years, I will give you each a wish."

"I want to travel around the world with my dearest husband", said the wife.

The fairy moved her magic wand and - abracadabra! - two tickets appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this moment is very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime. So... I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife was deeply disappointed but, a wish was a wish.

The fairy made a circle with her magic wand and - abracadabra!

Suddenly the husband was 90 years old.

English Jokes  - 6

Teacher: Johnny, you know you can't sleep in my class.

Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could

English Jokes  - 7

 

Teacher: What is a synonym?

Student: A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other!

English Jokes  - 8

 

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.

Student: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

 

English Jokes  - 9

 

Teacher: PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I". 

Pappu: I is... 

Teacher: No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."

Pappu: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

English Jokes  - 10

 

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? 

Jack: A teacher.

 

English Jokes  - 11

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years. After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.

The first guy says: “I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy. He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics, Business Administration, and was promoted, began to climb the corporate ladder, becoming the General Manager, and now he is the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday.”

The second guy says: “Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a travelling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and managed to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”

 

The third guy says: “Well, well, well congratulations! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away some very nice and expensive thing to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq. ft. mansion especially for his friend.”

The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of their sons. The fourth friend who earlier had gone to rest room returned and asked: “What's going on, what are all the congratulations for?” One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?”

The fourth man replied: “My son is Gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”

The three friends said: “What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel.”

The fourth man replied: “No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. In addition, he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq. ft. mansion, a brand new jet, and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends?”

 

White Fang by Jack London

White Fang by Jack London

The novel opens as two men, Bill and Henry, carry the dead body of Lord Albert south to be buried. Over the course of the journey, their dog sled is pursued by a hungry pack of wolves. The sled dogs are picked off one by one as they try to join the pack. The dogs are lured by the she-wolf running with the pack, who is part dog herself and knows how to communicate with them. Soon, Bill is eaten by the pack. Just as Henry is about to be eaten by the wolves, he is rescued by soldiers who are looking for Lord Albert.

The wolf pack runs away and travels together. The she-wolf is courted by several other members of the pack. A wolf named One Eye finally succeeds, and they go off to hunt together. The she-wolf becomes pregnant, and they find a cave where she bears her young. There is a famine, and all of her litter die of starvation except for one cub, a little gray wolf. One Eye does not return from his hunting.

One day the cub and she-wolf encounter Indians. One of them calls to the she-wolf by a strange name: Kiche. They name the cub White Fang. Kiche and White Fang become the dogs of one Indian named Gray Beaver. When they reach the Indian camp, White Fang is tormented by an older puppy named Lip-lip. White Fang learns that Gray Beaver is his master, and that he can never bite Gray Beaver. He is abused by all the dogs in the Indian camp, and becomes vicious and ferocious.

White Fang is put on the sled team of Gray Beaver’s son, Mit-sah. After they return to the camp, famine strikes again, and White Fang goes into the Wild to live. When the famine passes, he returns to Gray Beaver and travels with him to Fort Yukon, where Gray Beaver becomes addicted to whiskey. He sells White Fang to Beauty Smith, who keeps him caged and forces him to fight other dogs. He becomes a killer. He wins every fight until he comes up against Cherokee, a mastiff. Cherokee’s jaws clamp down on his throat and he can’t escape. Weedon Scott, a stranger visiting the area, rescues him.

Weedon Scott and his friend Matt realize how intelligent White Fang is and try to tame him, but are unsuccessful at first. Scott shows White Fang that he will not be cruel. White Fang begins to love Scott, and when Scott has to go back to his home in California, White Fang forces Scott to take him along.

White Fang is out of place in California, and is not entirely trusted by the Scott family. One of Scott’s dogs, Collie, particularly distrusts him. However, White Fang dramatically proves himself. First, White Fang saves Scott by getting help when Scott falls off his horse and breaks his leg. Then, he earns the title “Blessed Wolf” by killing an escaped convict who was intent on murdering Weedon Scott’s father.

Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher

Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher

Uncle Tom, a slave on the Shelby plantation, is loved by his owners, their son, and every slave on the property. He lives contentedly with his wife and children in their own cabin until Mr. Shelby, deeply in debt to a slave trader named Haley, agrees to sell Tom and Harry, the child of his wife’s servant Eliza. Tom is devastated but vows that he will not run away, as he believes that to do so would plunge his master so far into debt that he would be forced to sell every slave.

Just before Tom is taken away, Mrs. Shelby promises him that she will buy him back as soon as she can gather the funds. Tom is sold to Haley, who eventually sells him to a kindly master named Mr. St. Clare.

Eliza, however, cannot bear to part with her son and escapes the night before he is to be taken from her. She escapes successfully and makes her way to a Quaker village, with a family that harbors slaves. There, she is reunited with her husband George, who lived on a neighboring plantation and has also escaped to flee his master’s cruelty. The couple and their son spend a night with the Quaker family before returning to the underground railroad.

Tom befriends his new master and especially his young daughter Eva, who shares Tom’s deep religious faith and devotion. Eva abhors cruelty and eventually is so overcome with grief over slavery that when she becomes ill, she accepts her impending death peacefully and tells her family and their servants that she is happy knowing that she is going to heaven, where such cruelty does not exist. St. Clare begins to confront the realization that he believes slavery is evil, and he promises Tom that he will fill out forms guaranteeing his freedom in the event of St. Clare’s death.

Shortly after Eva dies, her father dies tragically in an accident, and Tom’s fate is left entirely in the hands of Marie, St. Clare’s selfish and unsympathetic wife. Marie decides to move back to her parents’ estate and to sell all the slaves, despite Miss Ophelia’s exhortation that Marie should fulfill St. Clare’s promise to give Tom his freedom. Marie refuses, and just before he is sold, he writes a letter to the Shelbys (with the help of Mr. Legree) telling them his plight and asking for their help. The letter goes unanswered, and Tom ends up in the hands of Simon Legree, an evil and bitter plantation owner whose philosophy is to work his slaves hard and replace them when they inevitably die just a few years later.

On Legree’s plantation, Tom meets two fellow slaves, Emmeline and Cassy. Emmeline is a young mulatto woman sold to Legree at the same time as Tom, and she attempts to befriend the embittered Cassy, who has suffered at the hands of Legree for several years. Cassy has seen her children sold and is so destitute that Tom’s pleas that she put her faith and trust in God fall on deaf ears. Legree soon comes to hate Tom after Tom refuses to beat and discipline the other slaves. Legree had planned to turn Tom into a brutal overseer, and when he realizes that Tom will not participate in cruelty, he becomes enraged and takes out his wrath on Tom. Tom becomes discouraged until he has a vision of heaven one night as he is drifting off to sleep. The vision reinvigorates him, and he decides it is his mission to suffer for the other slaves. He regularly fills their cotton baskets at the expense of his own, gives them his food and water, and reads the Bible to them.

Tom’s acts of kindness enrage Legree, and when Emmeline and Cassy escape, he demands that Tom tell him everything he knows. Tom admits that he knew of their plans to escape and is aware of their whereabouts, but he refuses to disclose where they are. Legree beats Tom so severely that after a few days, he dies.

Cassy and Emmeline eventually escape, and they happen to wind up on the same northern-bound ferry as George Shelby, who is rooming next to a woman named Madame de Thoux. Through conversation, it is discovered that Eliza Harris is Cassy’s daughter, and George Harris is Madame de Thoux’s brother. Cassy and Madame de Thoux journey together to Canada, where they are reunited with their family. Madame de Thoux reveals that her husband has left her a large inheritance, and they all move to France together, where George is educated. The family then relocates to Africa, and Cassy’s long-lost son, who has been traced, joins them. Topsy moves with Miss Ophelia to New England, then moves to Africa to work as a missionary. George Shelby gives all the servants on the Shelby farm their freedom, and tells them to be Christians and to think of Tom.

Town Twilight

Town Twilight

I was walking. The sun was shining. I couldn’t see anything but a few vultures. It was too much hot for me. I lost my way and was looking for my parents. I couldn’t decide where I was. It was a deserted place. There were mountains, bushes and of course vultures. Afterwards, I saw a town about one kilometre away. Then I saw the town’s name on a sign post.
I entered the town. All buildings were two-floored with large gardens. Green was the colour of the town. You could see lots of trees and flowers everywhere.
While I was walking through a large street, a nice blonde girl came close, and smiled.
“Hello! Who are you? ?
“I haven’t seen you before! ?
“Hello! I’m lost and I’m looking for my parents. I need to telephone. ? I replied.
“Let me introduce myself. My name is Trinity and yours? ?
“Alim, Alim BAYTEKİN ?,
“Will you help me? ?
“Of course, but we have no telephone ? she said.
“What? How can you communicate? ? I asked.
“We don’t need to communicate and stop asking questions. ?
“Let me show you our town’s beautiful places, Alim ? she said.
“O.K. ?.
Trinity took me to her school. While we were walking through the school’s corridors everbody was looking at us. In fact, they were looking at me. There were no other buildings. There was a big garden. You could see green colour everywhere again. The building was an old one. It seemed to me like a hounted house. There were about one hundred students.
The classes weren’t very big. You could see different colours in the classes. Yellow, pink, red, blue were the most common colours there. There were five classes and in each class, there were about twenty students, ten girls, ten boys. Trinity was talking to the teachers while I was looking around. They were looking at me when I was in front of class C. I found Trinity’s name on the list but there wasn’t any surname. Even the teacher had no surname on the list.
The bell rang. All of students went it. I got in the class C with Trinity. She was smiling when we sat on a desk. The lesson was Biology everybody had frogs with them. Trinity also had a frog. We cut it. We examined the internal organs of it. The teacher was also smiling when I looked at her once. It was a nice lesson. Everybody was friendly. I liked the Biology class.The school was over that day. We were walking slowly out of the school when she hold my hand. It was very exciting. I wanted to look at the school again. I turned back. What? I saw was dissappointing. I saw an older house like a deserted one. My camera was in my bag. I took it out and took a photo of the building. The building was empty and all of the students were lost. It was very strange.

After school, Trinity wanted to meet with her friends. We went to an old and big house to meet her friends. This big house was their meeting and playing place. There were four people, two boys, two girls. Morpheus, Jack, Miranda, Monica were their names.

Morpheus was a coloured boy. He was tall. He was an athletic person. He had no hair because he had shaved his head. It was shining when he moved. But I liked his clothes. They were dark too. He was wearing a black T-shirt, black jeans and black trainers.

Jack was tall too but he was shorter than Morpheus. He wasn’t a coloured boy. He was a thin brunette one. He was good at computers. He had small pocket computer with him. When he didn’t talk, he was playing with it.

Miranda was a blonde girl. She was as tall as me. She was wearing a white T-shirt and blue jeans. She had a pet with her. It was a caretta-caretta turtle. It was very cute.

Monica was a fat girl but she had a beautiful face. She had a bag full of food and desserts. When we were talking about each other, she was eating. She was repeating a sentence after a few sentences it was:

“I’m very hungry! ?

Trinitiy suggested to play hide and seek. Everybody accepted. We began to hide ourselves while Monica was waiting to look for us. I hid myself behind an old coach. There was a strange smell there. It was stinking. I realised that we weren’t alone. Small creatures were travelling around. I thought that they were mice but one of them stopped near me. I could see it. It was very strange and it had a funny appearence. It smiled but I scared. Five minutes later, I heard the voice of Trinity. I stood up. I looked at her. She said,

“Where were you? ?,
“I was here. ? I replied.
“We have been looking for you for an hour. ?
“Strange! ? I said.

When we stopped playing, it was evening. We left the friends there. Trinity took me to her house. It was a huge building. I thought that we were going into a church. The ceiling was very high. There were lots of rooms. Trinity left me alone and she went into a room to look for her parents. While she was there , I began to look the pictures on the walls. There were lots of pictures of different and old people. Their clothes were very colourful.

The house’s outer side was black painted. The inner side was in yellow colour. The wooden parts of rooms were made of oak tree. The furniture was also made of oak tree.

Trinity called me to get in that room. Her father and mother were with her. They were nice, good looking people. We talked about ourselves. I only knew their names; Charles and Agatha. Again, I couldn’t hear any surname. They said that I would find my parents.

I liked this town, I liked Trinity and hers friends. But I missed my parents and of course my hometown. It might be a good place for my holidays.
I wanted to leave this town. Trinity didn’t want me to go. She said,
“You may stay here. ? She went on speaking,
“But if you decide to stay here, you can’t go anywhere. ?
I got frightened. I felt like a prisoner. I asked,
“Can you go anywhere you like, Trinity? ?
“No, I can’t ? she said.
“Then this means you have to live here all your life. ?
“You’re right. ? She replied.
“But Why? ? I asked.
“Don’t ask why. There are no answer. Just live this moment. Don’t mind anything else you’ll be all right. ?

These were her last sentences. I behaved as she said.
After that day, Trinity warned me about the leaving day. She said,

“It’s time to go, Alim. You have to go. ?

I nodded my head. We walked to the exit of the town. She was smiling but her eyes were wet. I felt a tear dropping from my face. I was to cry. I didn’t ask any questions. She didn’t talk either. But her eyes said that I would find my parents. She kissed me. I left her there. I began to walk. I didn’t want to look back. I walked about one kilometre. I stopped there. I felt sleepy. At that moment, a strange wind began to blow. I could see nothing. I fell down. I heard a voice. Somebody was saying.

“Alim, wake up! ?

I opened my eyes. My mum was holding me. I saw my father too. There were lots of police cars there. They were very happy. I wanted to stand on my feet. I looked back. I saw a graveyard and the sing post of the graveyard. I ran towards there. The first thing I saw was the name Trinity on a stone. I fainted.

Utopia by Thomas More

Utopia by Thomas More

Thomas More is traveling in the Low Countries when he sees his friend, Peter Giles. Giles introduces him to a well-traveled friend of his, Raphael Hythloday.

Raphael speaks of many countries and their policies and laws, and freely criticizes the laws of their own countries. When More asks him why he doesn’t join the King’s services as a counselor, Raphael says he is happy with his way of life. Furthermore, he does not think his services would be appreciated, as his ideas are very different from the ideas of those around him. Raphael gives an account of a meeting at Cardinal Morton’s house, and then hypothesizes about what would happen if he were to express his opinion in other meetings. He then begins speaking of a country, Utopia, which he thinks is ruled very well and is a perfect country.

More begs Raphael to speak more of Utopia, and he does. He first tells of their towns, which are all as identical as possible, and have a maximum of 6,000 families. He then speaks of their magistrates, who are called Philarchs, and are chosen every year by thirty families. An Archphilarch overlooks every ten Philarchs. The Utopians’ manner of life is unusual, as gold is of no value, and everything is therefore free. Also, they spend their lives in the city and in the suburbs, living in each place for two years at a time. Laws dictate that they are not to travel without a ‘passport’, which can only be obtained from the Prince and states where and for how long they are allowed to travel.

Slaves and marriages are spoken of next. Prisoners of war are not taken as slaves, unless they fought in the battles; women are not to be married before eighteen, and men before twenty-two. Sexual encounters before marriage are prohibited, as are polygamy and adultery. There are no lawyers in Utopia, as everybody defends himself or herself in court.

Their military discipline is such that everyone trains for the army on a daily basis, however, the Utopians prefer to hire armies rather than to let their own people go to war, and as money does not matter much to them they can do this without much discomfort. Women are encouraged to join their husbands at war.

Religion is the last topic that is spoken of, and there are many religions in Utopia, as people are free to practice whatever they believe. However, the law states that they must all believe in one Divine Being and that they are forbidden to believe that the human’s soul dies with his body. Raphael speaks of the way the country and the people deal with the issues and problems associated with each of these topics, and how we could learn from them and their wisdom.

When Raphael finishes his descriptions, More has further questions and thoughts. However, he does not voice them, as it is apparent that Raphael is tired. The only thing he does say is that he wishes their governments would adapt some of Utopia’s rules, but he sees little hope of this happening.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

To Kill a Mockingbird is a coming-of-age story of Scout Finch and her brother, Jem, in 1930’s Alabama. Through their neighborhood meanderings and the example of their father, they grow to understand that the world isn’t always fair and that prejudice is a very real aspect of their world no matter how subtle it seems.

The summer when Scout was six and Jem was ten, they met Dill, a little boy who spent the summer with his aunt who lived next door to the Finches. Dill and Jem become obsessed with the idea of making Boo Radley, the neighborhood recluse, come out of his home. They go through plan after plan, but nothing draws him out. However, these brushes with the neighborhood ghost result in a tentative friendship over time and soon the Finch children realize that Boo Radley deserves to live in peace, so they leave him alone.

Scout and Jem’s God-like father, Atticus, is a respected and upstanding lawyer in small Maycomb County. When he takes on a case that pits innocent, black Tom Robinson against two dishonest white people, Atticus knows that he will lose, but he has to defend the man or he can’t live with himself. The case is the biggest thing to hit Maycomb County in years and it turns the whole town against Atticus, or so it seems. Scout and Jem are forced to bear the slurs against their father and watch with shock and disillusionment as their fellow townspeople convict an obviously innocent man because of his race. The only real enemy that Atticus made during the case was Bob Ewell, the trashy white man who accused Tom Robinson of raping his daughter. Despite Ewell’s vow to avenge himself against Atticus, Atticus doesn’t view Ewell as any real threat.

Tom Robinson is sent to a work prison to await another trial, but before Atticus can get him to court again, Tom is shot for trying to escape the prison. It seems that the case is finally over and life returns to normal until Halloween night. On the way home from a pageant, Bob Ewell attacks Jem and Scout in the darkness. After Jem’s arm is badly broken, their ghostly neighbor, Boo Radley, rescues Scout and her brother. In order to protect Boo’s privacy, the sheriff decides that Bob Ewell fell on his own knife while he was struggling with Jem. Boo Radley returns home never to be seen again.

Through the events of those two years, Scout learns that no matter their differences or peculiarities, the people of the world and of Maycomb County are all people. No one is lesser or better than anyone else because they’re all people. She realizes that once you get to know them, most people are good and kind no matter what they seem like on the outside.

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe

Although his father was a lazy man who earned no titles in the Ibo tribe, Okonkwo is a great man in his home of Umuofia, a group of nine villages in Nigeria. Okonkwo despised his father and does everything he can to be nothing like the man. As a young man, Okonkwo began building his social status by defeating a great wrestler, propelling him into society’s eye. He is hard working and shows no weakness – emotional or otherwise – to anyone. Although brusque with his family and his neighbors, he is wealthy, courageous, and powerful among his village. He is a leader of his village, and this place in society is what he has striven for his entire life.

Because of his great esteem in the village, Okonkwo is selected by the elders to be the guardian of Ikemefuna, a boy taken prisoner by the tribe as a peace settlement between two villages. Ikemefuna is to stay with Okonkwo until the Oracle instructs the elders on what to do with the boy. For three years the boy lives with Okonkwo’s family and they grow fond of him, he even considers Okonkwo his father. Then the elders decide that the boy must be killed, and the oldest man in the village warns Okonkwo to have nothing to do with the murder because it would be like killing his own child. Rather than seem weak and feminine to the other men of the tribe, Okonkwo helps to kill the boy despite the warning from the old man.

Shortly after Ikemefuna’s death, things begin to go wrong for Okonkwo and when he accidentally kills someone at a funeral ceremony, he and his family are sent into exile for seven years to appease the gods he has offended with the murder. While Okonkwo is away in exile, white men begin coming to Umuofia and they peaceably introduce their religion. As the number of converts increases, the foothold of the white people grows beyond their religion and a new government is introduced.

Okonkwo returns to his village after his exile to find it a changed place because of the presence of white men. He and other tribal leaders try to reclaim their hold on their native land by destroying a local Christian church that has insulted their gods and religion. In return, the leader of the white government takes them prisoner and holds them for ransom for a short while, further humiliating and insulting the native leaders. The people of Umuofia finally gather for what could be a great uprising, and when some messengers of the white government try to stop their meeting, Okonkwo kills one of them. He realizes with despair that the people of Umuofia are not going to fight to protect themselves because they let the other messengers escape and so all is lost for the Ibo tribe.

When the local leader of the white government comes to Okonkwo’s house to take him to court, he finds that Okonkwo has hanged himself, ruining his great reputation.

Walden Book by Henry David Thoreau

Walden Book by Henry David Thoreau

Walden is Henry David Thoreau’s account of the two years he spent living in a small cabin he built in the woods next to Walden Pond in Concord, Massachusetts. The book roughly follows the seasons of the year, and uses the seasonal changes as a framework in which to talk about wealth, money, academic study, nature, and spirituality. Thoreau begins with a long chapter on Economy, stating his case for moving to the woods, not paying taxes (for which Thoreau was jailed briefly during his two years at Walden), and surviving only off what he grew on the land near his cabin. A life of simplicity, for which he argues in the first chapter, is a recurring theme throughout the book.

Thoreau considers many aspects of the world around Walden. He allows each thing he spends time examining to take his thoughts towards higher moral and intellectual standards, as well as towards a very honest and respectful celebration of nature. He is particularly excited about the character, appearance, and characteristics of Walden Pond, and spends much of the book both describing the pond and singing the praises of its uniqueness.

Not content to limit his observations to the natural world only, Thoreau chronicles his encounters with many hunters, loggers, and other manual laborers who come to the pond. An entire chapter is dedicated to people who once lived near the pond, but have since passed away. He also mentions some of his closest friends and intellectual partners, who regularly pay visits to Thoreau.

Although Thoreau places a higher value on natural observation than anything else, he also places great weight on knowledge, and thoughtful, careful intellectual argument, which he feels is best undertaken in a natural setting. Thoreau quotes from many spiritual books, including Hindu, Christian, Confucian, and Roman writings. He also treats many books on farming, botany, and other aspects of nature as if they were religious texts.

Thoreau concludes the book by writing about truth, which he feels can be found both in nature, and in people who fully live up to their potential. In addition, he reiterates his feeling that people should never presume to be important or exceedingly valuable until they have succeeded in exploring every part, not of the world, but of themselves. Thoreau says that he left the woods to explore other parts of himself.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

It is 1801 and Thrushcross Grange has a new tenant, Mr. Lockwood. He visits his landlord, Mr. Heathcliff, who lives at Wuthering Heights, the neighboring property. Mr. Heathcliff is out, and his young relatives, Mrs. Heathcliff and Hareton Earnshaw, are very disagreeable. It starts to snow, but no one is willing to help Mr. Lockwood get home, or to let him stay. He is attacked by a dog while leaving, and in his bloody state, Mr. Heathcliff begrudgingly allows him to stay.

Mr. Lockwood passes his time reading from the journals of a young girl named Catherine. He starts to dream. In the dream he quarrels with a preacher, and the parishioners attack him. A tapping awakens him, and he breaks a window in his attempt to quiet it. He grabs the hand of a ghost child, who calls herself Catherine Linton. Terrified, his scream awakens Heathcliff, who calls for the ghost to reappear. Heathcliff escorts Mr. Lockwood home through the snow-covered moors, but he still catches a bad cold.

Sick for several weeks with this cold, Mr. Lockwood asks Nelly Dean, his serving woman, to tell him about the inhabitants of Wuthering Heights. She was once their housekeeper, and she has lots of stories to tell. Mrs. Heathcliff, who was married to Heathcliff’s son, is the daughter of Mrs. Dean’s late master, Edgar Linton. Hareton Earnshaw, the nephew of Mrs. Linton, is Mrs. Heathcliff’s cousin. Mr. Heathcliff was married to Mr. Linton’s sister, who bore Linton, Catherine’s husband. Heathcliff was an orphan Mr. Earnshaw found wandering the streets of Liverpool. Hindley, the eldest child, was very jealous of him. When Mr. Earnshaw died two years later, Hindley made Heathcliff work in the fields. Catherine and Heathcliff remained close friends. One day, while spying on Thrushcross Grange, they saw two children, Isabella and Edgar, nearly tearing a puppy to pieces in a selfish rage. One of the Linton’s dogs attacked Catherine when they tried to run. She stayed for several weeks to heal, and when she returned from the Lintons, she was well mannered and nicely dressed, which annoyed Heathcliff.

In 1778, Hindley’s wife gave birth to Hareton, then died soon after. Hindley, crazed with grief, could not care for him. Despite their differences, Edgar and Catherine grew closer. Catherine agreed to marry Edgar, telling Nelly that Heathcliff was too inferior to marry. Heathcliff heard this, and disappeared without a word.

Catherine became sick, but when her health improved, she and Edgar married and moved to the Grange. The marriage was good until Heathcliff returned. Edgar’s sister Isabella fell in love with Heathcliff, but he despised her. Heathcliff kissed Isabella to hurt Catherine, and they had a big fight. During the fight, Edgar came in, demanding Heathcliff leave his house. Disgusted by both of them, Catherine shut herself in her room for three days, becoming ill and mad.

Isabella ran off and married Heathcliff, but she hated her new life at Wuthering Heights. One night, Catherine gave birth to Catherine Linton, and died. Soon after Catherine’s death, Isabella escaped to the Grange. She moved to London and had a child, named Linton, and died twelve years later. Hindley died six months after his sister.

Upon Isabella’s death, Edgar tried to keep Linton, but Heathcliff sent for him. A few years later, when wandering near the Heights, Cathy met her cousin. But Cathy’s father forbids the relationship. She starts a secret correspondence with Linton, and they think they are in love.

Mr. Earnshaw finally agreed the two cousins may visit if they do not go onto the Heights land. Linton coerced Nelly and Cathy to enter the house. Once inside, Heathcliff imprisoned them until Cathy agreed to marry Linton. With her father dying and escape impossible, Cathy relented. After her father died, Heathcliff moved his daughter-in-law to the Heights. Linton died soon after the wedding, and Catherine befriended Hareton, teaching him to read.

The following year, 1802, Mr. Lockwood returns to the Heights. He learns from Nelly that Heathcliff died unexpectedly after a strange and restless madness. He was buried next to Catherine, but several people believe they see he and Catherine wandering the moors. Cathy and Hareton are in love and plan to marry, then move into the Grange.